Feels long since I actually write on blog again
Was messing around and found good old blogger, I had totally forgotten I even have an account with it.
It's good to be back, I hope this time for much longer than previously. I started blogging in my secondary school days, that is like about 10 years ago. feels nice to be back and actually alive to boot. People in the generation I schooled with mostly start earlier with regards to getting in touch daily with technology, for me I was delayed in a sense due to my family being slow on the technology uptake. Back to what I was saying I was on and off on the net due to another reason being, restrains and constraints of time, my family when they first got a personal computer, it was shared among the 3 children which include me and the internet was turned off at night. So I couldn't use the computer often, but somehow I still manage to get a blog started on blogger and watch anime, namely Vampire Knight with the time I had, it was all I had but also some part being not so pleasant.
The unpleasant parts being not so pleasant was being accused of being pretending to be someone else online, at that time, I was so pissed about being accused but as I didnt have much friends, there was nothing that I could have really done then.
Pushing all that aside, fast forwarding to now, I am really glad I don't feel as horrible as I did in those days of being bullied and being bothered by the lack of friends etc. Although, yes, it still feels lonely as fk, but oh well, it is much better now to some degree, but I think it has alot more to do with me just accepting that I cant have it all, cause life is like that, but on the same note I can have whatever I can have, and that is alright no matter what other people think. However I still get relapse into that kind of horrible feeling once in a while, I hope as I grow, I will actually eventually become someone which I will love to be all along and it will feel awesome!
Things that are horrible now:
1. my writing
2. my memory
3. sometimes feelings relapse horribly
Things that are not so horrible/and maybe even a little bit awesome:
1. I have some progress here and there, not what I imagine it to be but it's okay, Im okay with it.
2. I have communicated with my close friend and we somehow patched up
3. feel much better than the past
It's good to be back, I hope this time for much longer than previously. I started blogging in my secondary school days, that is like about 10 years ago. feels nice to be back and actually alive to boot. People in the generation I schooled with mostly start earlier with regards to getting in touch daily with technology, for me I was delayed in a sense due to my family being slow on the technology uptake. Back to what I was saying I was on and off on the net due to another reason being, restrains and constraints of time, my family when they first got a personal computer, it was shared among the 3 children which include me and the internet was turned off at night. So I couldn't use the computer often, but somehow I still manage to get a blog started on blogger and watch anime, namely Vampire Knight with the time I had, it was all I had but also some part being not so pleasant.
The unpleasant parts being not so pleasant was being accused of being pretending to be someone else online, at that time, I was so pissed about being accused but as I didnt have much friends, there was nothing that I could have really done then.
Pushing all that aside, fast forwarding to now, I am really glad I don't feel as horrible as I did in those days of being bullied and being bothered by the lack of friends etc. Although, yes, it still feels lonely as fk, but oh well, it is much better now to some degree, but I think it has alot more to do with me just accepting that I cant have it all, cause life is like that, but on the same note I can have whatever I can have, and that is alright no matter what other people think. However I still get relapse into that kind of horrible feeling once in a while, I hope as I grow, I will actually eventually become someone which I will love to be all along and it will feel awesome!
Things that are horrible now:
1. my writing
2. my memory
3. sometimes feelings relapse horribly
Things that are not so horrible/and maybe even a little bit awesome:
1. I have some progress here and there, not what I imagine it to be but it's okay, Im okay with it.
2. I have communicated with my close friend and we somehow patched up
3. feel much better than the past
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